If you know me by now, I often write self deprecating posts if it involves myself, and often use irony or other styles which those, who are a little more literal may not always “get” – to that end, this is a more serious post so please bear with me as this is something that I have needed to address but have been unable to as I had been travelling a lot recently and was unable to devote the time needed to write this post (it’s long… as you will see!)
So… to everyone reading this post, thank you in advance for your continued support. As many of you know, or by now, have received news, I made a very unfortunate Tweet regarding a fellow producer that did not reflect what I believe was the good intention behind my Tweet. I risked addressing a serious matter with humor, and some risky endeavors, like my Tweet, are destined to fail in achieving their aim. So foremost, I want to apologize for any misinformation or upset that my original Tweet may have caused any of you and I want to do my best to make sure that no lasting animosities or negative rumors are able to take root in our community and industry because of my Tweet.
These animosities and rumors don’t serve the best interest of anyone or the best interest of our community, so I’m feeling rather humbled to have made a mistake, despite my good intention, that risks stoking both animosity and rumor. So thank you to everyone who has reached out with support, or otherwise. And thank you especially to my friends and colleagues who checked in with me, some even gracious enough to call me out publicly with the intent of checking in and informing me that I needed to provide clarity lest I risk being perceived as launching a bullying micro-aggression toward a female producer in the fetish video production industry that we share when nothing could be father from the truth. So, to the explanation… here goes:
In the interest of discretion I will not be naming anyone involved other than Sarah and myself. The other producer involved will be identified as (P); the model involved will be identified as (M); the custom video client (in this case) involved will be identified just as (C).
My tweet in question (this tweet is still online as I regret my lack of clarity, not my intention, and wish to provide an account hiding nothing) reads as follows with a picture of another producer’s (P)’s Twitter profile attached showing me blocked from viewing her feed:
“This is typical of the BS that we sometimes deal with in UK/Europe just because we enquired on behalf of an amazing client (who she also knows). This still rankles with me & I’m bored! So… #drama #shitstir #paythemexclusivitythen #itsmybrandnonsense”
I wrote this tweet after filling out a rather lengthy interview (it is no fault of the interviewer and his fine blog, and I’m sure you’ll see that interview soon!) that brought up some negative experiences in my past with Xerotics. I then began replying to tweets about my treatment at Xerotics years ago. This brought things to an emotional head for me where I wanted to address recent industry negativity that my beloved, Sarah Gregory, and I, had experienced as producers. I freely admit that Sarah and I were upset and that my Tweet was further aided by two rather wonderful and very strong Manhattan cocktails that I had made earlier whilst replying to the interview (trust me, I make VERY good strong manhattans!). To Sarah’s credit, she vehemently cautioned me against tweeting anything at all, her preferring to keep such matters private for discretion’s sake. And in retrospect, I’d like to think that I’d have had enough sense to avoid tweeting anything for the sake of discretion as well, but my decision making processes were obviously impaired; however, the truth always wins out in the end… even if it sometimes needs to be coaxed out of hiding.
Though it is an amazing gift to be able to do what we love for a living, Sarah and I have always been forced to acknowledge that our websites exist in a competitive industry. This competition often extends between producers to affect the models we hire [and are able to hire] and clients who order custom videos. Thus, my Tweet was an attempt to address a negative behavior in our industry amongst some producers [a behavior that (P) displayed in an attempt to negatively affect a shoot that (C) commissioned Sarah to produce] that involves claiming exclusivity in video shooting relationships with models that generally offers the models caught between producers no studio exclusivity incentive beyond “if you shoot with them, I’ll never shoot with you again.” In this case, (P) and Sarah had both produced numerous custom videos for (C). Now it is important to note that Sarah’s custom video relationship with (C) began in 2009, well before his custom video relationship with (P), when he commissioned her to create 3 films which included her first ever film with Dana Specht. bet most of you did not know that, right? Sarah had also been in films commissioned by (C) prior to 2009 and afterward with many other producers – I’m sure you recognize the video style. Thus, while Sarah was establishing her relationship with (C)… (C) told her that he had a friend who was a new, upcoming female producer and asked if Sarah would appear in a film he commissioned this new producer to make. Guess who? That new producer happened to be (P)! Sarah gladly accepted this role. She got to do what she loves most, support another female producer as she established herself, and help make (C)’s video idea come to life.
IMPORTANT: Please note that (C) works with many producers to this day – and is responsible for some of the best story telling content in the spanking genre, in my opinion.
Further, it is important to note that Sarah and (P) had a good working relationship when she came to the UK. In fact, Sarah considered (P) an industry friend. Thus, Sarah has happily offered (P) paid work and trade work whenever possible. We also recommended her studio to models and we assumed that she was doing the same for us. That’s part of my ideal. I love what we do. I respect everyone involved and try to help because my opinion, liberal and socialist as it might come across, is that one person’s success raises everyone’s platform. Thus, as a producer in the scene, I always help promote models who work for me and make them aware of other producers who might do well to hire them. I feel that this practice should be the norm rather than an issue, but I have learned quite clearly since my tweet that it sadly isn’t. This ideal is where my #paythemexclusivitythen hashtag came from, a place in me fed up with a negative practice among producers in general, not just (P), though my Tweet was directed at (P) after she attempted to herd a group of models into what appeared to be a total exclusivity contract. Fine. But, for goodness sake, only demand this type of loyalty from a model if you are paying them a decent, regular fee to remain exclusive with your studio… otherwise I think that this act is just a shitty practice that limits work opportunity, and I will call that out every single time. How dare any producer claim or attempt to own a model who appears on their platform without paying them for the privilege…
So, back to the incident of recent concern with (P) that I Tweeted about.
Remember the key: Producer I had called out on Twitter (P); Model (M); Custom video client (C).
I personally don’t care that (P) had blocked me or Sarah on Twitter. However, I think the incident that precipitated (P)’s decision to block me and Sarah deserves a closer look. In this case, (C) asked Sarah to inquire about hiring a particular model, henceforth referred to as (M), to be involved in a future production of our Strictmoor series that (C) commissions. (M) had mainly worked with (P) in the past few years, so (C) suggested that Sarah reach out to (P) directly to ask if (P) and (M) and (P) wanted to be involved in a future Strictmoor project. (P) replied to Sarah’s request with:
“You can go tell (C) he is an asshole and (M) can work with whoever she wants, I am not her agent.”
So Sarah politely inquired if (P) was upset with her, then asked (M) directly if she wanted to be part of Strictmoor at which time (P) had a complete meltdown, blocked Sarah and I on social media, sent several discourteous emails to Sarah (she has these on record, of course), and sent very rude texts to (C). In my opinion, this is not how a mature and industry supporting producer should act. From my perspective, Sarah did nothing wrong and was attacked and blocked in what seemed to be a fit of jealousy. Sarah then tried to send cordial emails to (P) in an attempt to smooth things over for the sake of our industry and the models involved, but (P) was not having any of it and simply stopped communicating when it became clear she could no longer argue her case coherently. Beyond the personal attacks, what troubled me is that this immature behavior displayed by (P) cost a respected and hard working model an awesome working opportunity which she was initially excited about. Especially when (P) does not pay (M) for her industry exclusivity, but made her bend to her wishes with guilt and the threat of lost work, both exasperating a situation for (M) because (M) and (P) are friends (just my opinion… but – some friendship! Which reminded me of the issues I once had at Xerotics!) – thus further forcing (M) to politely decline Sarah’s work offer despite, as I had explained earlier, she been thrilled at the opportunity when Sarah presented it.
So what was the purpose of my tweet in the first place? Simple. Starting an earnest address of these underlying frustrations I’ve had for a long time and a malaise I have seen occurring in some parts of our industry. I was genuinely attempting to call out a situation that negatively affects models, producers, and custom clients in the industry and, thus, negatively affects the industry’s ability to provide high quality content for our supporters. I’m very fed up with producers who act like (P). Which leads to my other hashtag, #itsmybrandnonsense. Sarah and I were also accused of brand stealing by (P) in this incident. This is nonsense. We produce content specific to fetishes. How can that be branded? To call this a brand is more talk that limits filming opportunities. In fact, Sarah and I feel so strongly about this fact that Sarah has earnestly told (P) that she is more than welcome to film Mommy Spanking content and Cheerleader content in the exact same vein as ours if she likes, with no threat of repercussions, and with our full support and encouragement. Hell, we’d even recommend models to her to facilitate this type of project because models should feel free to work with whoever they want!
So, I am sorry that my Tweet ended up being perceived as rather immature, and rightly so (damn those #shitstir and #drama hashtags…), when I was addressing what I think is actually a very serious work integrity matter, with (P) being one of those people being addressed who I think should really take a long hard look at themselves and their business practices. I wasn’t attacking a producer who was female for being female (good god, no).
I was simply addressing her because I felt she needed to be addressed for her poor behavior.
Did any of that make sense? Feel free to leave comments here if you wish to discuss this further or need clarification (though I think I have done that in this post). Please also treat this seriously so no hate filled expletives as that will just earn nothing and such immaturity will be ignored – I realize that leaving comments means that you can also do this anonymously, of course, rather than replying to me on Twitter from your account, so I am aware of how this emboldens some… but let’s all just rise above that, hopefully.
Thank you for reading and getting this far!